Don't Cry All Alone

"I'm here, you won't have to cry alone anymore. I'll be here whenever you need me. I'm here. Please, don't cry all alone. I'll always be here for you..."


Maybe one day I'll feel needed like this. I want someone to really need me.


I was about to tell you what I was listening to, but I thought it would be better to keep it as a secret and then, everyone could think of their own melody to sweet this.

Green Eyes

"Who knows what's behind those green eyes!.. but I can promise you that, if you stare too long, you'll be bewitched."

Tonight Sketches

Just some random blue girl

Listening to The Swan's piece for The Carnival Of The Animals, I guess something like this was about to happen one of this days, so here it is.

And Tora again. I love my OCs so much, but I think she's the one I love most, at least right now. Steel (her husband) enters while she's still on her queen's duty, and she loves him so much that she can't help but blushing, even though she's talking about really serious issues and even though she's in front of the most important people of the realm. Because no matter the situation, some things always stay the same.

I've been sketching to take a break from other things I'm working on and that are taking much more time than expected. Anyway, I'll leave you a song here (what I'm listening to right now)

Is it any wonder

That I feel so blue

When I know for certain

That I'm losing you..

So Sad - Françoise Hardy

pd. I was so frustrated the other day, but things have gone on since then, everything seems to be alright. Not too happy not too sad, just like... alright. Though I don't know at all if that's the right word for it.

What's the use?

If words can't touch you, what's the use of using them? If I'll never reach you, what's the use of stretching out my hand?  If, whatever I do, you'll never care, what's the use of keep trying? 

If you try not to get too attached to things, what's the use of having those things? They become meaningless and I don't believe you if you say so.

I'm tired of trying, of feeling stupid, crazy, of being a foolish always repeating myself, always doing the same, and things always ending up the same way. Why can't time make any difference?, why I keep on going and walking the same way, falling every single time in the same gaps?

I'd say it's even boring. I don't know what to expect anymore.. someone who'll care? maybe? Is that even possible? Someone who really cares? not being number two, three, four.. etc. No, being number one, just for once.... I think I'm asking too much. I'm sorry.

Not at my best, and making a big effort not to say a word where I shouldn't.

And it's all for a reason as simple as this:

No one cares about the ones that care.

Herido por las flechas de la incertidumbre

¿Dónde estabas entonces cuando tanto te necesité? / Where were you when I needed you so?
Nadie es mejor que nadie pero tu creíste vencer. / No one's better than no one but you believed you won
Si lloré ante tu puerta de nada sirvió. / If I cried in at your door, it was useless

Barras de bar, vertederos de amor, / bar bars, luve dumps

os enseñe mi trocito peor / I showed you the worst of me

Retales de mi vida, / Snippets of my life

fotos a contraluz. / backlit photos

Me siento hoy cómo un halcón / I feel today like a hawk

herido por las flechas de la incertidumbre. / wounded by the uncertainty arrows.

Me corto el pelo una y otra vez / I cut my hair again and again

Me quiero defender / I want to defend me

Dame mi alma y déjame en paz / Give me my soul and leave me alone

Quiero intentar no volver a caer / I wanna try not to fall again

Pequeñas tretas para continuar en la brecha / small tricks to continue in the gap

Me siento hoy cómo un halcón / I feel today like a hawk

llamado a las filas de la insurrección. / called to the ranks of insurgency

Insurrección - El Último de la Fila

By the way, I got a haircut today.

And I was listening to The Tough Alliance though I had this idea in mind all the time. I'm gonna keep The Tough Alliance's song for another drawing. Love that song. Been crying a lot. Maybe it's a too sensitive night.. I don't know.

Obviously I love Insurrección too. That's the reason it's here. It's a song that has always been there and I'm so used at singing it when things are tough. And I love that verse that goes "Me corto el pelo una y otra vez, me quiero defender". I feel as if it's someone desperately needing a change, hoping for it and trying to make it happen with trivial life stuff such as cutting your hair. 

Goodnight everyone, I'm really tired..

an autumn tree

"He used to spend all day closed in a room, but when it was the right time, he would go out and sit under the tree. Close his eyes and feel the cold air while the autumn leaves were falling. That day there was a soft scent in the air, a scent that made him hope maybe that day, for the first time, things would turn alright. Things would be better"

Hi, I know I haven't post much lately, but I promise this will change. I've been pretty busy and wasted my free time in other projects that still are on the make. But today I needed to draw something, something autumnal, and needed it to be something really simple, I don't know why, but I was not satisfied until this one was done (even though I've done/started 2 different drawings which are pretty much an autumn thing, and that I actually really like so far).

So keeping things simple and hoping for autumn colours to change leaves here. I want cold. It's still so hot... I wish, I wish this changes one day soon.

Stay calm...

Summer's End

I drawed something for Judith Viorst's poem "Summer's End". Sorry it is an awful photo. (Maybe I'll scan it someday)

I just wanted to try an illustrate a text this way. I was really inspired by Pauline Bayne's work (not only the amazing drawings, but when she used to illustrate cooking books or things like that) so I did this trying to reproduce the last Summer flowers, and the sunflowers are dying (some of them).

I've never really felt completely sad for summer ending, 'cause you know, then comes autumn, and as you might have guessed already, I love autumn. But it is always sad to leave things behind and also, being helpless at keeping the things you love with you. 

You give the best of you, you have the best intentions, but that's still not enough.

Anyway, good end of summer and start of autumn! Here rain has arrived, and with her, a little bit of cool air. I hope finally we'll have some autumn weather!

Hiding Under The Golden Leaves

My yard is full of leaves today

Brown and yellow and gold

I think I'll rake them in a pile

Higher than my head

Then I'll pretend it is my bed

I'll jump in very quick

And pile their leaves up over me

For covers soft and thick

I'll just lie there so nice and warm

And look up in the sky

And watch more leaves float down for me

To rake up by and by.

By Marian Kennedy

Sometimes I feel like this, just running away from the world and hiding somewhere in the forest, waiting for some magic to happen and take you far away.

Somewhere there is this place where autumn leaves cover the earth and the sky, and as sun is setting down you can see them glimmering as if they were made of gold.

Been listening to Jens Lekman all the time, I think it has took part in the way it has turned out to be.

Her ring

"Why, when you wanna see someone, and that someone is near and alive, why do we have to suffer, unable to see each other?"

Why is it so hard to be with the ones we love? 

The other day I started watching Once Upon A Time.. and though I'm just in the ep 3 I already really like it. The thing is that I kind of really like Snow White, I love the way she is, her story (with prince charming and everything that goes with it) and her outfit. I feel familiar to it in a way, though she sure does wear much more sweet things.

I got caught with the idea that in real life she still has the ring. 

I've still got a lot to know about their story I guess.. it's mysterious and enchanting and filled with magic!

Not at all a twilight dream

Fleeting glimpses hard to find,

Imagined wonders of lovely kind.

In night times waking in pleasant dreams,

In the moon's gossamer, silver beams.

Fairies dance the night away,

Gone at dawn, in flight of day.

- L. C. Gerstenfeld -

Today I borrowed "Of This And Other Worlds" by C.S. Lewis, and though I've just staretd it, it has already captivated me. Another thing that fascinated me was the book's cover. So I stared using it as a reference to do a quick sketch, and I'm kind of proud of how it turned out to be. 

Then I did a search of the illustration's author, which happened to be Arthur Rackham, and I've completely fallen in love with his work! It's so wonderful, and full of magic! I love his drawing technique (The ink, watered colours, and the light). And he illustrated so many fairy tales, like Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland or Grimm's tales, among others.

The original piece I used as a reference is "Twilight Dreams" by Arthur Rackham.

Tea At Sunset

    

... and Girona's Autumn

Sometimes it is hard to find a moment to pause and just enjoy yourself and your surroundings, be quiet, think about the things you like and listen to the sound of the wind while the autumn leaves fall to te grown. Sometimes all you need to do is stop, be quiet and listen for a minute. That's all it takes.

Tea always helps, and much more now that time is getting colder day after day. Have I already said how much I love autumn? haha.
In just two weeks (aprox) it's gonna be "Fires de Sant Narcís" a fair that's mainly my city's festivity. And it's just so perfect and I love it so much. I could show you how it looks like, but maybe it's better that you imagine it (at least 'till I've taken proper photos of it that I could share here). So it's just all autumn colours, the skies might be of a deep blue or palid grey. Everything is filled with small stalls.

They sell food (which is wonderful!) there are so many things, like: "embotit", cotton candy, candy apples, "panallets",  sweet potatoes, "Xurrus" and obviously roasted chestnuts (because there's  a celebration called "Castanyada" where basically you east roasted chestnuts).

But those stalls sell other things too, cute small things, antiques, clothes, etc.

And everything is lighted up with small lights that shine through the night (and the smoke from the stalls that make the roasted chestnuts). And you can imagine how everything smells, it's so wonderful! And there are activities all day, for children, adults, young adults and teens. There's also night life where you have outdoors live music.

And practically all day there are the main called Fires, a small funfair. There used to be a circus too when I was a child, as well as a puppet show (which I and almost any child who had once gone to see it, loved. We called it "Titelles d'en Guinyol") 

I don't remember much, the only thing I can recall is that we were not very nice with the devil (we never helped him) but that's because you know, he was the bad guy. I think it was almost a tradition betraying him after promising you wouldn't tell where he hides. The thing is that the main character, Guinyol, was not much clever, so he always got hitted by the demon and then the demon accused us of telling him! haha It was really funny. And those are now such precious memories. It's sad I'll never get to see it again. Maybe one day.  

Well, I'm sorry I'm promoting Fires this much, it's just that I really love them, and I wanted to share it somehow. If I could put it all together into something, maybe it would be this:

It's a maple leaf from our trees here, and it's also one of the city's symbols so.. They say that it's easy to fall in love with Girona (actually there are poems and songs about that, and old tales, and new ones and so many things) so I leave here an image of it. Maybe you'll fall too, who knows.

(I don't own any of those two last photos)