The Girl With The Paintbrush

I know this is not a drawing, but still it has so many of my drawings in it. And this is really wonderful! So I wanted to share it here anyway :)

This is a video Charlie Darling from Les Bicyclettes de Belsize made with his really wonderful song The Girl With The Paintbrush using a bunch of my drawings. And not only I love the fact of seeing my drawings all put together, but always with this lovely song, which yeah, I do love.

So I might confess that it feels weird to see it all summed up, all the feelings that went on during months, I still feel them when I see the drawing, and now, if I dare to say it, they kind of have a soundtrack, and I can't tell you how happy this makes me.

I'm so, so happy for this, so thank you so, so much Charlie for it. It cheers me up every time I watch it ^^

Swing

Gave me a push and he started singing
I sang along while I was swinging

The sound of our voices made us forget everything
That had ever hurt our feelings.

Tire Swing - Kimya Dawson

One day I'll find a nice boy. And whenever he feels blue I'll go there and try and make him smile and forget about what brings the hurting, if only for a moment. And somehow that way, I'll be helpful. Maybe someone will really need me then.

A simple kiss because: "A kiss heals everything" "Um beijo cura tudo" "Un beso lo cura todo" "Un bacio guarisce tutto" "UN PETÓ HO CURA TOT".

I think that the catalan word for kiss, "Petó" is one of my favourites words. Its sound is so simple yet so wonderful. It's really little while its meaning is really big. It means everything, and resumed in such a nice little word that when you pronounce it, you're pretty much moving your mouth as if you were about to kiss someone. And isn't that wonderful?

Listening to Searching For Heaven

That song has always made me so sad. I know I try not to bring it too close to my heart nor my life, because I know if I do, if I kind of "open my eyes", I'll completely fall apart. But no matter the trying, it strikes really hard every single time I listen to it (which is pretty often).

Is one of those songs that you should not listen to when you're sad, 'cause they can do more harm than anything else. Even though I love it to the bones and it has a special place in my heart, I feel like this with Searching For Heaven.

I know, I know, Searching For Heaven is not the only one, but today I've found something that's the main reason why I've done this drawing up here.

"The idea that teenage girls are listening to a song like 'Searching for Heaven' is a wonderful thought for me." J.G. (here the whole interview)

And so, the idea of a Teenage girl listening to Searching For Heaven really got me. And I don't know why, really. Maybe as I tend to do, I gave this more meaning than it really has. But it felt stong. 

I don't know how to say it, but it was not something that I'd say I liked like "woaah yeah!" nor something that I disliked at all. It was just there, and it felt tangible, I'd say. And I don't know if I'm even making sense, I'd say no, but that's probably because I don't understand it myself. It just strucked hard, the whole quote, not just the idea. But I don't know..

Well, I don't know if I'm a teenager anymore or what (not literally though). I'd say sometimes. But just as some other times I'm an old lady and some other I'm still a 9 year old child (or less than that) I don't think age has really much to do with how you feel about yourself.

...this is a huge deviation from the main plot. Sorry.

Anyway, Teenagers listening to Searching For Heaven and probably, crying because of it. 

Don't Cry All Alone

"I'm here, you won't have to cry alone anymore. I'll be here whenever you need me. I'm here. Please, don't cry all alone. I'll always be here for you..."


Maybe one day I'll feel needed like this. I want someone to really need me.


I was about to tell you what I was listening to, but I thought it would be better to keep it as a secret and then, everyone could think of their own melody to sweet this.

Green Eyes

"Who knows what's behind those green eyes!.. but I can promise you that, if you stare too long, you'll be bewitched."

Tonight Sketches

Just some random blue girl

Listening to The Swan's piece for The Carnival Of The Animals, I guess something like this was about to happen one of this days, so here it is.

And Tora again. I love my OCs so much, but I think she's the one I love most, at least right now. Steel (her husband) enters while she's still on her queen's duty, and she loves him so much that she can't help but blushing, even though she's talking about really serious issues and even though she's in front of the most important people of the realm. Because no matter the situation, some things always stay the same.

I've been sketching to take a break from other things I'm working on and that are taking much more time than expected. Anyway, I'll leave you a song here (what I'm listening to right now)

Is it any wonder

That I feel so blue

When I know for certain

That I'm losing you..

So Sad - Françoise Hardy

pd. I was so frustrated the other day, but things have gone on since then, everything seems to be alright. Not too happy not too sad, just like... alright. Though I don't know at all if that's the right word for it.

What's the use?

If words can't touch you, what's the use of using them? If I'll never reach you, what's the use of stretching out my hand?  If, whatever I do, you'll never care, what's the use of keep trying? 

If you try not to get too attached to things, what's the use of having those things? They become meaningless and I don't believe you if you say so.

I'm tired of trying, of feeling stupid, crazy, of being a foolish always repeating myself, always doing the same, and things always ending up the same way. Why can't time make any difference?, why I keep on going and walking the same way, falling every single time in the same gaps?

I'd say it's even boring. I don't know what to expect anymore.. someone who'll care? maybe? Is that even possible? Someone who really cares? not being number two, three, four.. etc. No, being number one, just for once.... I think I'm asking too much. I'm sorry.

Not at my best, and making a big effort not to say a word where I shouldn't.

And it's all for a reason as simple as this:

No one cares about the ones that care.